I still have this one, ending in less two hours,
and this one, still with over four days to go.
Needless to say, I'm delighted, but also disappointed. After all, I spent literally 5 times or more than I'm selling anything for.
That these dresses are now out of my closet and soon will be in someone else's who can and wil wear them IS a win.
But, I keep asking myself, how did I let this get so out of control in the first place?
The answer is simple really. I have been carrying an image of myself in my head that is distorted and destructive.
Distorted, because it's based on what I looked like and the shape I could easily maintain ten years ago.
Destructive, because I've spent literally thousands of dollars on clothes I can truthfully advertise as NWT (New With Tags), because they have been hanging in my closet, unworn, since the day I bought them. I'm not well off financially, and this kind of wasteful spending has hurt us. A lot.
I have to let go. Not just of the physical things cluttering up my life, but of the unrealistic self image and the destructive pursuit of a smaller dress size than is really healthy for me.
It's hard. I don't feel that different the way I did a decade ago. But, I am older.
I want to be the best me I can be.
Even if that is a larger size me than I might want to be.
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